Deadpool and Thanos' Crazy Night

A year had passed since Mark's death. Thanos was alone, drowning himself in alcohol and drugs because of the guilt that his friend's death was all his fault. Each night he would go to a local bar where most other people would hang out as well. He would sit alone in a dimly lit corner and drink his sorrows away in hopes that maybe he wouldn't wake up the next day. A new face had just come into town that day, a man by the name of Deadpool. He had been known to be a very sarcastic asshole with a twisted sense of humor. He had come into that same bar and saw Thanos from across the way. Deadpool approached him and sat down without an invitation. "What's got you in such a sour mood purple man?" Deadpool asked.

"A lot, man. A whole goddamn lot..." Thanos let out a sigh of exasperation. The bartender walks up and takes Deadpool's order whilst Thanos sits in sorrow. "What about you? I haven't seen a Fella like you around here." Thanos surveyed Deadpool from top to the conspicuously fat bottom. "Wellll, I'm on sort of a business trip." Replies Deadpool, constantly adjusting his seat as if he knew what he had on that barstool. "I, uh, well, um..." Thanos was WAY TOO DAMN fixated on Deadpool's ass, as if all of his problems had been erased with red and black spandex.

Was this just a temporary fix for his problems? Perhaps. However, he would do anything at this point to forget his trauma. Tonight, he was going to get ass. For Mark. With a toast to himself, Thanos downed a shot of tequila and faced Deadpool.

His eyes hungrily flickered over Deadpool's juicy cheeks, each one bouncing jovially each time the latter shifted in his chair. Thanos indulged himself in the view, his mind starting to wander away from the grief consuming him. "Eyes are up here, BIG guy." Deadpool winked, purposely crossing his legs to show off his voluminous thighs and shapely hips that complimented his well-endowed rump perfectly. "I can show you something else that's big," Thanos smirked, "how about we get out of here? My place is just down the street."

Thanos grinned and stood up from his chair, Deadpool doing the same. As the two walked towards the bar's front door, Thanos looked in the reflection of the window and saw Mark sitting behind him at the table he was just at. He stopped in his tracks and turned around to see if that was actually him sitting there, but alas he was not. "Let's hurry up and get home Thanos, so I can suck that dick of yours" Deadpool said while hugging one of Thanos's arms tight. Thanos stood still just staring back at the table. When he heard Deadpool say "home" it triggered a flashback to when he was in the helicopter with Mark. "We're getting to go home, Mark...getting to go home" A few tears came out of Thanos's eyes, remembering what he had lost once again. Deadpool shook the man lightly and snapped him out of his trance. "H-home...Mark..." Said Thanos. Deadpool looked up confused. "Hey uh, are you okay big man?" He asked politely. Thanos looked back down at Deadpool and shook his head no, then letting go and running out the front door of the bar and out into the street where it was down pouring with rain.

"H-HEY WAIT A MIN-" Deadpool yells out in confusion but he was already out of the building. "Heh, the classic booty call then PTSD flashback." Says the bartender. "What? PTSD?" Asks Deadpool. "Damn right, big guy has been hung up over the death of a friend." Replies the bartender whilst he cleans the counter. "Well, since you're SUCH a specialist, why don't you give me some advice on how I can go ahead and get that big purple dick of his?" Says Deadpool sarcastically. The bartender puts down the towel. "If you wanna get that meat, run out there and get that shit. YOU HEAR ME!?" Yells the bartender. "Very well." Deadpool gets up and leaves, cheeks clapping upon exit. Deadpool sees Thanos sitting in the rain. He walks up next to him and sits down. "Hey big guy, I know you're sad and all bu-" Deadpool gets interrupted. "I lost a friend you know, a good one." Says Thanos weakly. "I miss him..." "Well if he's still lookin down on us, I think he'd be happy knowing that you're still enjoying life." Says Deadpool. "And what better way to do that is to feel up on these cheeks." Deadpool was right, and Thanos knew what he had to do.